365 Steps to Self-confidence

3 5 6 steps to self-confidence Some other titles from How to Books 365 Steps to Practical Spirituality A day-by-day guide to opening the awareness within us all 365 Ways to be Your Own Life Coach A programme for personal and professional growth – for just a few minutes a day Everyday Witchcraft Magic spells to enchant a modern woman’s life The Expert Patient Living a full life with rheumatoid arthritis Meet Your Match How to find and keep the man or woman who’s right for you Please send for a free copy of the latest catalogue: How To Books Ltd Spring Hill House, Spring Hill Road Begbroke, Oxford OX5 1RX, United Kingdom info@howtobooks.co.uk www.howtobooks.co.uk 3 5 6 steps to self-confidence A COMPLETE PROGRAMME FOR PERSONAL TRANSFORMATION – IN JUST A FEW MINUTES A DAY DAVID LAWRENCE PRESTON howtobooks Published by How To Content A division of How To Books Ltd Spring Hill House, Spring Hill Road, Begbroke, Oxford OX5 1RX. United Kingdom. Tel: (01865) 375794 Fax: (01865) 379162 info@howtobooks.co.uk www.howtobooks.co.uk The right of David Lawrence Preston to be identified as author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988. All rights reserved. No part of this work may be reproduced or stored in an information retrieval system (other than for purposes of review) without the express permission of the publisher in writing. © 2007 David Lawrence Preston First edition 2001 Second edition 2005 Reprinted 2005 Third edition 2007 First published in electronic form 2007 ISBN: 978 1 84803 210 1 British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data. A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library. Produced for How To Books by Deer Park Productions, Tavistock Typeset and design by Pantek Arts Ltd, Maidstone NOTE: The material contained in this book is set out in good faith for general guidance and no liability can be accepted for loss or expense incurred as a result of relying in particular circumstances on statements made in this book. Laws and regulations are complex and liable to change, and readers should check the current position with the relevant authorities before making personal arrangements. Dedication This book is dedicated to my wonderful children, Dieter, Nikki, Dan and Joel, to whom I wish all the health, happiness and success in the world. Acknowledgements With grateful thanks to my dear friend, the late Janet Chiesa, for her numerous suggestions and comments. RIP. A Personal Note Most of the people I meet in my work perceive themselves as not capable of much. Some don’t even particularly like themselves. I know how they feel. As a young man I felt the same, and it nearly destroyed me before I acquired the confidence to become a teacher, therapist and organiser of personal develop- ment and complementary therapy courses. I’ve always thought that if low self-esteem were a physical condition such as cancer or AIDS, or a potentially life-threatening habit like smoking and alcohol and drug abuse, the government would declare a national emergency, pump in massive funds and organise a mass publicity campaign to combat it. Certainly some politicians and educationalists are beginning to pay lip service to it, and hopefully times are changing. But in all my years of full-time education, at school, college and university, I can’t recall a single session on self-esteem. Nor in a 20-year business career were any train- ing resources devoted to it. No one seemed to recogniseits importance. Perhaps everyone assumed that nothing could be done, or vaguely hoped that confidence would develop as a by-product of other activities. What advantage is it to send a young person out into the world with a head full of knowledge but without the confidence to use it effectively? I like to think the time will come when every child – whatever their background – will grow up having been taught to believe in themselves and have faith in their ability as a major part of their education. How many lives would be enriched? Now wouldn’t that be exciting? 6 Introduction ‘A man who doubts himself is like a man who enlists in the ranks of the enemy and bears arms against himself. He makes his failure certain by being the first to be con- vinced of it.’ Alexandre Dumas C ONFIDENCEISCRUCIALTOAHAPPYANDFULFILLINGLIFE. It influences your success at work, your family life, relationships and leisure activities. It affects your performance in everything you do. A belief in oneself is without doubt the greatest asset of all. Even great wealth and fame can’t compen- sate for a poor self-image. People who lack confidence and self-belief always underachieve. They’re less adventurous and less likely to get the most out of life. They’re more prone to a variety of stress-related problems, including anxiety, eating disorders and mental health problems. Low self-esteem is the fundamental cause of most family break- ups, poor parenting and relationship problems. In addition, much crime is associated with drug abuse, unemployment, poverty and aimlessness, all of which are related to low self-esteem. Does lack of confidence hold youback? If so, you’ve made a wise purchase. 365 Steps to Self Confidence has been carefully structured to help you become more confident. It takes you deep inside your mind and gives you tools and techniques which have worked for millions of people around the world. All you have to do is to work through and apply its lessons. Time and energy devoted to building your confidence and self-esteem are nothing less than investments in your whole life. The exciting thing is, no matter what your history, background or current state of confidence, you – we all – can learn to be confident, because it’s never too late. 7 About this book I have written this book for everyone – young and old, men, women, students, educators, business people, administrators, parents, homemakers, sports enthusiasts, entertainers – yes, and you! It has been carefully structured into 52 sections, covering the following areas: ? Deciding to be confident ? Self-awareness ? Thinking confidently ? Using your imagination to improve self-image ? Acting with confidence ? Confident communication. Each section contains information, insights and words of inspiration, plus seven exercises, practical hints or points to ponder. That’s one a day – not too taxing. is it? I guarantee that if you read the material carefully and apply what you learn, you’ll notice big changes taking place within two or three months, and a year from now you’ll look back amazed at how much more confident you’ve become. 8 The Programme Section 1. How to build confidence:an introduction to the life-changing formula that will transform your life. 14 2. How confident are you?Defining your starting point. 18 3. Sow the seeds of confidence and watch them grow: why you are the way you are and how you can become what you want to be. 22 4. Whose responsibility is your confidence? Why, yours, of course! 26 5. Getting motivated:setting goals which give you the impetus to change and to grow. 30 6. Determination: identifying the reasons to change, and reinforcing your commitment to be confident. 34 7. Thinking like a confident person:you start transforming your life by changing the way you think. 38 8. The Four Step Method:a cast iron way to become a positive thinker. 42 9. Silencing the Inner Critic:challenging the little voice in your head that loves to criticise you. 46 10. Affirmations: how to use them to build confidence and the difference they make. 50 11. Who do you imagine yourself to be?self-image and the subconscious. 54 12. Getting the most from creative imagery: life-transforming techniques which change your self-image permanently. 58 13. The ‘As If’ Principle: acting as if you’re confident to become more confident. 62 14. Eat an elephant: the importance of taking it one step at a time. 66 9