Art of Manipulation

tHe Art or Manipulation R.B. Sparkman THE DIAL PRESS + New York Published by. The Diat Press 2 Dag Uammarskjold Placa New York, New York ror ‘This work ous frst publisied by Cope Allied Pablihing, Heuston, Tes Copyright © 1978 by R. B. Sparkacsin ATT rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitied ip any form or by any means, deetranie or mechanical, inchiding phowcopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without the sritten pecmnission of the Publishes, except where permitted by law ‘Manufactured in the United States of America First Dial priatiag. Deston ey Duvais J. Gnastorr Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Dasa Sparkman, R. B. The ace of manipul Interpersonal relations. 2, Tailuence Wsychology). [Tile HM132.866 1979 gorar | yg-ayyti7 ISBN o8057-0775-4 t cia wv Contents Five Percent of the People Manipulate the Other Ninety-five Percent WUAT no THESE MANIPULATORS KNOW THAT THE REST OF US DON'T? “‘YACTIC 1: Character Types to Watch Out Por ‘Tips THAT TELL YOU YOU'RE AWOUT TO RE TAKEN TACTIG 2: How to Male a Slave Gut of a Person, Whar MADE YOU THINK 31 GOOD YO PEOPLE ALT. THE TIME WII. EYER GET YOU WITAT YOU WANT? ‘TACTIC 3: The World Is Rife with Favoritism: Mow 70 PUT IT TO WoRK FOR YOU <7 vi ___ Contes . Contenrs vii Vo TACTIC g: The Pssence of XIE TACTIC cr: Manipulate a Person Manipulation Against His Will and “I pow'r NEED you. You NEED Make Mim Like it ae.” B Vine Unarcce TReHnique 135 VI LACTIC 5: And the Meek Shall XII TACTIC 12: A Litde Pressure Has Manipulate the Earth Its Placo—Rut Seldom 133 NEVER KNOW MCCH, AND YOU XIV TACTIC 13: If All se Fails, Try GED FURTHER. 9 the Dirty Way vor VIT TACTIC 6: How to Pick a Person XV TACTIC 14: How to Squelch Apatt and Discover Ingratitude Before Tt Starts 167 His Real Motives and Feelings fu “ ° XVI What You Get Out of Using: VIL TACTIC 7: The Guernsey vs. Pegple for Your Own Selfish. the Brabiva nds War 4 “rosttive atrirone” is , LIKE 4 GIGOLO ” IX TACTIC & How to Avoid Being ‘Vaken in Financial Dealings WATCH WHERR. THR MONEY 15. fo X TACTIC 9: Manipulating a Person's ‘Thinking KNow witosr asm YoU can CHANGE, AND WIIDN IT’S BETTER TO. SHUT LP. 509 XI TACTIC 10: Win Ninety-five Percent Rute ov Truwe 2: Ler sreerine DOGS LIE IF THFY PON'T AFTECT YOUR VITAL INTERESTS. “7 tae Art or Manipulation CHAPTER 1 Five Percent of the People Manipulate the Other Ninety-five Percent WHAT DO THESE MANIPULATORS KNOW THAT THE REST OF US DON'T? ilssE you wonprrrp why some people ncurly always get what they want from other people, while you can only manage to do so every now and then? | certainly have, and that question had badgered me for years. Why can one person close the big business deal where ninety-five percent of the people who tried ailed? Why can some men charm and manipur late women into almost anything, when others couldn’t yet the time of day from them? Why de 2 Tar Arr or MANIPULATION Five Pexceny ox mae Puorue 3 tain women seem to get anything they want frown men? Surely ir comes down to the fact that these people are shrewd in the art of manipulating and han- dling people, But how do they do it? What are their techniques? As an answer, this book reports the taeties rhese manipulators use w get what they want in business situations as well as in their personal lives—much of it in their own words, And it’s all tried-and-irue street wisdom, not the kind of thing you customarily read in books, As a result, you'll find it natural to put these tactics to work getting what you want from people. They're more comfortable in action, any way, than they are lying dormant on the written page he sole criterion: Does it work? Any method I report here can be judged by only one criterion: Does it work well enough to get me what I want? ‘These tretics need not. be moral, inspir- ing, or philosophically sound. They just. have to work, Otherwise the manipulators who tutored me in the art of “people-handling” would have long ago dis- carded them, What remains is the distilled street wis- don: of people who either prospered or starved according 10 their ability to persuade others against their will. I believe their steaight-from-the-jungle techniques will work better for you than the ivory tower, armchair theorizing done by most books on the subject. Necessity forced me 1 turn to some rather unorth- codex characters as sources for this book on manipula ton. ['d already exhausted the more respectable alternatives by taking a master’s degree in advertis- ing. But studying Madison Avenue’s methods in de. tail taught me very little, I found that depending on college and hooks to teach me how to handle people was like going to church ta learn how to sin. They just didw’t seem to know much about it. Not until | por mysclf square in the middle of street-wise hustlers, manipulators, and con artists did I gain a working grasp of manipulation. In the pro- cess my shady unors conned me out of considerable money, But I emerged after a year well versed in the art of extracting what I want from poaple Learning the art Manipulators and con artists flock to boom tewns where the money comes casy and plentiful, and then move on when the prosperity plays out. Houston, “Voxas, was just such 2 boom town in the carly 1970s as the energy shortage im the rest of the country pumped a deluge of easy dollars into this city built on oil. By moving to Houston, i had no trouble contact= ing con artists, hecause hordes of their numbers roosted in the bars there. Shortly after I arrived there, | took an apartment with Mardy, a habitual drunk who, when sober, is probably the most masterly manipulator T have ever known or expect to knaw. Hardy was panting hot on the heels of a café waitress he had chased into town. 4 ‘Une Agr or ManworaTion Five Prrce yt of THE PEOPLE Me had just departed Mobile, Alabama, in favor of Houston when the casy money had played out in Dixie. The walking personification of the silver-tongued devil, Hardy could talk anybody into nearly any- thing—women included. And he had successfully hawked everything from stock to land to en- evclopedias dovr-to-door. But. despite the fact ehat he always made fabulous money, 1 doubt chat Hardy r worked over three weeks at a stretch before one of his drinking sprecs got him fired. tle was my major tutor while 1 studicd manipulation. We soon added another charlatan, who was eventu- ally to gull me of a considerable amount of money, to our living arrangement, He bad drifted into town from Dallas, ‘Vexas, as that city joined the rest of the country in the recession of the 19706 Next door ty our apartment lived a shyster from California who claimed to be a millionaire’s son, and who had never done the proverbial honest. day’ work in his life. He bad cither stolen or conned someone out of everything he owned, The man had so many aliases and bogus pieces of identification ehat J never did figure out his real name. Finally { enlisted as “visiting lecturers” on the subject af manipulation two con artist friends of the Dallas man. One had abandoned his New York en- virons for Houston duc to the recession back cast, And the other was a hotecheck artist from El Paso, Texas These made up my complement of experts in the art of people-handling. Bear in mind that none of these men fit the category of the dangerous criminal. ‘As far as L know, there wasn’t a criminal record ia the bunch. Although none except Mardy demon- strated an inlding of honesty, they didn’t tra their fast bucks by outright thievery. Instead they generally made their money by using people with a jewel cutter’s precision. (Mostly by selling them cars, stock, land, or possibly a com- pletely worthless item at exorbitant prices—all the white convincing thir hapless dupe that they were doing him a favor.) Nor do L mean to imply that the average person would find these men despicable. Certainly a modi- cum of charm is essential to the success of any mani- pulator. And they had plenty of it. In fact Tve never been charmed as quickly by 2 group of people. With only one exception they were all hilarious story- tellers, Almost any normal person would be quite taken by them, at least until their ruthless nature reared its ugly head, But by chat time it was usually too late. Women as a cule also found them irresistible, so you can imagine that they kept up a constant parade of females in and out of our apartment. In fact Lardy ‘was so confident of his abilities as a latter-day Casa- nova that he paid for a motel room before he went ont cruising the hars to pick up women, 6 Tue ArT ox Mantunanon The key to manipulation During my year of this near-cockroach existence, T discovered the key to the mystery of manipulation: a thorough understanding of human nature, First the manipulator raust grasp an intimate understanding of human nature. Then he cxploits these deeply in- grained buman tendencies, instincts, and weaknesses. In the course of this book, I start with the basic traits of human nature and describe rhe tactics manipula- lors use t capitalize on them, You can experience their methods by proxy as you read about them, After that you should find it easy to apply them to the situations where you need manipue lation, Because the everspresent trails of human na- ture are universal, once you understand how to exploit them in one situation, other applications come naturally. Learn the techniques quickly, Uhope that by reading this book, you'll learn to harness the considerable power of human nature to gel what you want—without having to pay the dues that such an ability usually demands. These tactics are casy to Jearn from someone who's willing to teach you, but figuring them out on your own through trial-and-error would probably take a liferime. I hope this book cuts your period of trial-and-error to an absolute minimum, or possibly eliminates it al- together Figuring out the tactics of peopie-handling on your Five Percenr ov rat Prope z own is usually a syrup-slow process. e's hard be- cause these technicyies run contrary 19 what you're used to doing, At tines you'll have to lean t make yourself shut up when your instincts are goading you ww “Scream at him!” Or you may have to feign disin- terest when your insides plead, “Tell him you're des- perate for his business.” As a result of these unaccustomed stances manipu- Jation ofien requires of you, only a handful of people—arouad five percent by my estimate—ever learn to get what they want from other people. The other ninety-five pereem just plod slong following their patural instivets, unable to tell why they nearly always come out on the short end of situations I venture to guess that these people, frustrated by their personal failure, flock in droves to John Wayne movies, There they get their vicarious satisfaction by watching ‘The Wuke, by golly, see that things are demu well done his way. Unfortunately Wayne’ clench-jaw method of riding his gut iastinets to vic tory only works on the silver sereen, not in reality. A person simply can’t follow his impulses aud still get what he wants from people. Impulses are a fool's compass nally | must confess that few of the techniques in this book represent original thoughts of my own. As a reporter I mostly relate what the old hands in the manipulative are taught me, Cm giving you advice from people who arc auch more clever than | am, In a sense, I Jet them take the years of hard knocks aec- essary to develop these tactics, and paid as few dues 8 Tue Ary ov Manwurarion as possible myself. | would have undoubtedly been twenty years developing them on my awn. Also, in my role as a reporter, I only describe what works—not what is moral, These tactics arec’t either moral or immioral. Like most powerful tools, they can be used for cither good or bad ends. For instance, Lyndon Johnson, a master in the use of political ma- nipulation, used the same tactics to gain the passage of good civil rights laws as he used to marsbal sup- port for his questionable Vietnam policies. You see, how you use these methods determines whether they vwill be right or wrong Undoubtedly there's a great potential for abuse in- herent in these techniques; ¥ can only hope that you'll apply them toward decent ends. I also trust that the publicity his book gives the methods of manipulators will awaken some of the gullible people in the warld from their tances, Then mayhe they can defend themselves against being used by these ruthless indi- viduals. CHAPTER IL Tactic 1: Character Types to Watch Out For TIPS THAT TELL YOU YOU'RE ABOUT TO BE TAKEN Derme THE Tim | Jived among the five com artists, they fied to me and gulled toe of so much of my money that | was forced to cultivate cunning to sur vive. In a situation where the clever ones eat the gull- ible, developing wariness isn't a matter of choice, Luckily Hardy helped me by providing the kind of knowledge that all but veteran manipulators are igno- rant of, Hardy taught me to recognize the subtle markings of a situation that betray a well-laid deceit. If you de- tect these tipofis in a situation, you should develop cold feet, and become mule-stubborn about releas- ing any money to a person who shows these signs. 1n 9 10 ‘Tue Arr or Maxwenarion ‘Tyers To Waren Our For i fact you probably should show him the dor, and end your association with him altogether, Wateb out for those who protest too much. Remember Shakespeare's “Methinks thou doth protest too much”? (In otber words, “You've said it so many times that you make me suspect you're lying about it.") Note the striking parallel between Shake- speare and this situation, where I took a small finan- cial beating. As Tentered my apartment one vight, my reom- mate told me that Hardy had just called me from jail, Lcd been arrested for public drunkenness. Sie Hardy considered me his “only real iriend in the world,” he asked me to come and post bail for him. Hardy begged me to hurry because be claimed t0 be in « standing-room-only ecll with “a buach of stinking, vomiting slobs.” Hardy was always metieu- lous about his personal cleanliness. And he insisted on a hospital-clean apartment, so I knew he must he enduring a fiving hell. But I also suspected that the filthy jail might. prove cxecllent therapy for his desire to get drunk in the future. A sloppy, heaving dete: rent “You'll never regret this. Just as soon as | get the money, DI] see that you're paid hack. You just. don't know haw much I appreciate this,” were Hardy's grateful words. He told me this as we walked away from the jail after I bailed him out. But despite this bountiful outpouring of assurance on his part, I never received a dime of the money. He left town still owing me two hundred dollar Any time the other person stresses something too much, the street-educated mind hegins to doubt hit, Ofien this “protesting too much” provides learned cars a telltale clue that the other party is purposely misleading him. When a Kar is pulling a fase one, he often soothe: talks you in a too-reassuring, too-demonstrative way. Uncomfortable about his lie, he nervously avercom pensates for his lack of substance. When a person tells you over and over how he's going to make money for you on a deai, and pats you on the back saying, “I want to sce you get everything you've got coming to you,” watch our. Ee’s probably patting you on the back so he can feel a soll. phice 1 put the knife in, If you stand to gain a lot from a deal 2 person proposes, the terms of the deal will usually speak for theraselves—without his droning on and on about your potential benetits. Look out if he repeats—I say repeats—what you stand to gain over and over. Ef a person proposes a deal, he must have some- thing to gain from it, or he wouldn't waste his breath. And you can bet that the more the other party harps on about making you money, the more he stands ta gain from the deal at your expense. A person who proposes a deal with terms that favor you doesm't feel a need to sell it excessively. He knows that good! terms speak for themselves. So he assumes something of a take-it-or-leave-it stance.